question: why dont women go for nice guys? im certainly one of those women who for some reason are hardly ever attracted to the nice guys. the ones that trully like me and have no discernable flaws and obvious shortcomings.
to answer this question and finally end this confusion echoed throughout the ages by women everywhere - ok, a tad dramatic but u get my point. i once again took to the deep, dark, dangerous dating streets, armed only with an open mind and fab shoes. even after the disaster that was my last date, i thought...'nothing ventured, nothing gained' so damn it, venture i will. this guy was the ultimate anti-busi-type. a gentleman, with a corporate and very steady job, cute and super sweet. so professional in fact that he invited me on the date in an email 'meeting request.' true to my cynical form, i asked my pa to accept on my behalf :) i thought if he insisted on turning a date into a business transaction, then i would oblige.
i dont know what to tell u folks...
but when they were defining the word 'awkward,' they were referring to this date. i certainly got all the attention women everywhere crave as the man let me practise my favourite activity...talking, correction, talking about myself. on and on i went...pausing and sighing dramatically in between takes, hoping he would jump in at any point. anytime now, he will say something...anything!?! but alas! it was not to be. so determined was our boy to LISTEN that he refused to simply TELL me a joke he had received earlier that day that 'totally cracked him up.' he chose instead to text it to me! yes, text it! as i sat across the table from him, searching for my mobile to check the text he just sent me, i thought "i need to take a man who listens, OFF my list of what i want in a man." it was just painful.
i caught myself bored with the sound of my own voice a few times...something i thought was not possible. granted, at the time i was saying something along the lines of "which brings me to 1999 when i finally got my first period!" seriously! he cant be real. he didnt even flinch...simply nodded his head as if to say, 'thank u for sharing that intimate moment with me...' i was horrified and had finally had enough. we paid the bill and left. the drive home was as dry as dry toast. and because i couldnt stand the silence, i took to pointing out the obvious:
oh, the robot is red
amber now,
and yep, green...
we should go
i was like a crazy woman. a nice guy had driven me over the edge. i imagined what sex might be like with him...and not because i was inclined, just in need of something to fill the silence. i got visions of nice guy rubbing back, feet, shoulders, temples...kissing cautiously and deliberately with his minty fresh mouth. i heard the clearing of the throat, the incessant pleasing, 'is this ok? is that ok? i was dozing off already...
i thought damn! nice guys do finish last...and they'll last even longer if they are on their own. so please, bring on the bad boys. give me some drama. a little immaturity and im even willing to consider the sleazebags. i know i sound crazy, but at least i will stay awake, and...
it will end quickly.
Wakakakakakakaka!
ReplyDeleteI do know what you mean though. I used to "hang out" (I can't bring myself to say 'date') with someone who was super-boring, and drove me to drink until the point intoxication, to numb my emotional/psychological pain every time we were together. This continued until I couldn't take the unnecessary hangovers anymore, and put a stop to it.